Nanny. Wife. College Student.

When this school year ends in a couple of months, I should have enough credits to be a senior in college, and ready to graduate in a year. But I won’t. I won’t even be close to having my associates degree yet. Most of my friends who graduated high school with me have gotten their 2-year degrees and are ready to face their last year at a university. But not me. In fact, I am not even sure I if I want to stay with my major anymore.

I chose a different route than a lot of my friends. I got married at 18. I haven’t had the time or money to attend classes full time. Often times I feel really sad about not being closer to finishing school. Most of my fellow high school graduates will most likely have bachelors degrees when I finally get my associates degree. And sometimes that makes me feel really sad.

But it’s really hard being a nanny, a wife, and a college student.

Even though I don’t work full time right now, I have a really hard time fitting everything in. Working as a nanny is really great. It’s also really stressful sometimes. My job is to teach, keep safe, and be loving to these little hearts. And a lot of people don’t think of my job as a “real job”. Which also makes me feel really sad. And it also adds more stress knowing that some people don’t take me seriously.

When I get home from work, I feel like it is my responsibility to take care of my “wife duties” before my schoolwork. I always find myself saying, “Let me just get the apartment clean, and then I will do my homework.” But then the evening rolls around and I also find myself saying, “Well I have to start dinner now, so homework will have to wait until later.” But then later turns out to be Friday afternoon, with the whole weeks worth of work from all of my classes piled up. And sometimes, even on the weekends, wifely duties prevail.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy getting married at 18 and trying to finish college. I guess I just wasn’t anticipating all the stress. But you know what? When the week is done, and the laundry has or has not been folded. When the dishes are either cleaned and put away, or lying in the sink. When I’m sitting at the table trying to get all my homework done by midnight on Sunday. When the spring semester ends, and I still have a ton of credits ahead of me…

I’m still really happy with the choices I’ve made. I don’t regret getting married when I did. I don’t regret finishing school first. I won’t say that it hasn’t added a whole lot of stress. It definitely has. And some days I find myself extremely overwhelmed. But Josh really makes me feel appreciated. And important. And strong. And even though it may take me a few more years than most to get my associates degree, I will still feel proud of myself. Because I did it while being a wife, and a nanny, which is hard.

And it’s going to continue to be hard. Even after I’ve been handed that degree. But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean I can’t have fun!