Married at 18
I got married when I was 18 years old. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made and it has been such a fun adventure.
I have no regrets and I would marry Josh all over again if given the choice to go back. But does that mean it was always easy? Absolutely not. It was actually very hard. When I say that, I don't mean the marriage was hard. We have actually been very fortunate to have never had any "rocky patches" or hard times in our marriage. When I say it was hard I mean it was hard being a married 18 year old. Let me tell you a little bit about that time in my life...
We got married in August, 10 days before my 19th birthday and moved across the country 4 days after our wedding. I was one year out of high school so most of my friends were heading back to their 2nd year of college. I did not do a great job of keeping in touch with my friends because I was so busy trying to balance being a newlywed, starting life in a new state, and making new friends in our new home. I was also dealing with a lot of fear of being judged and feelings of not being good enough because I knew what people thought of me getting married so young. On top of all of that I was also feeling so distant from (and jealous of) my friends back home who were still hanging out and making new friends too.
It sounds silly to say, but fitting in was also very hard at that time. I did not have any people around me who were my age and married. Thankfully I got over that part fairly quickly and I made a lot of great friends during my time in Virginia. Some older than me, some younger, some married, some single. It is beautiful to have variety in friendships. But it was still very hard for me in the beginning.
I struggled a lot being a youth pastor's wife at that time too. I felt very out of place in the ministry because I was so young. Remember, I had just celebrated my 19th birthday! I wasn't much older than some of the students in the high school group. It was all just very strange for me. Thankfully I was able to find a ministry where I could be my own person at that time which was with the 4th and 5th grade girls. I'm forever thankful to my friend Sarah who convinced me to volunteer with them because it was very healthy and essential for me to have my own ministry away from middle school at that time. I think I just needed some time to be my own person and to mature a little bit. Since we have moved to Oregon I have been very involved with our youth ministry and have been right by Josh's side for every part of it.
I didn't want to share this as a boohoo/pity post or anything like that. I just wanted to be honest with everyone about what it was like getting married so young. It was hard and it was lonely at times. I always had Josh and I am so thankful for him, but I didn't always have friends outside of our marriage. In some ways that really strengthened our marriage and we grew a lot as a couple, but it was still lonely for me in the beginning.
Hard does not mean it wasn't worth it. Sometimes things that are tough are the most rewarding. Josh and I will be celebrating 8 years of marriage this summer! Sometimes when I say that it feels like such a long time and sometimes it feels like it has flown by... it depends on the day. ;)
I have no regrets and I would marry Josh all over again if given the choice to go back. But does that mean it was always easy? Absolutely not. It was actually very hard. When I say that, I don't mean the marriage was hard. We have actually been very fortunate to have never had any "rocky patches" or hard times in our marriage. When I say it was hard I mean it was hard being a married 18 year old. Let me tell you a little bit about that time in my life...
We got married in August, 10 days before my 19th birthday and moved across the country 4 days after our wedding. I was one year out of high school so most of my friends were heading back to their 2nd year of college. I did not do a great job of keeping in touch with my friends because I was so busy trying to balance being a newlywed, starting life in a new state, and making new friends in our new home. I was also dealing with a lot of fear of being judged and feelings of not being good enough because I knew what people thought of me getting married so young. On top of all of that I was also feeling so distant from (and jealous of) my friends back home who were still hanging out and making new friends too.
It sounds silly to say, but fitting in was also very hard at that time. I did not have any people around me who were my age and married. Thankfully I got over that part fairly quickly and I made a lot of great friends during my time in Virginia. Some older than me, some younger, some married, some single. It is beautiful to have variety in friendships. But it was still very hard for me in the beginning.
I struggled a lot being a youth pastor's wife at that time too. I felt very out of place in the ministry because I was so young. Remember, I had just celebrated my 19th birthday! I wasn't much older than some of the students in the high school group. It was all just very strange for me. Thankfully I was able to find a ministry where I could be my own person at that time which was with the 4th and 5th grade girls. I'm forever thankful to my friend Sarah who convinced me to volunteer with them because it was very healthy and essential for me to have my own ministry away from middle school at that time. I think I just needed some time to be my own person and to mature a little bit. Since we have moved to Oregon I have been very involved with our youth ministry and have been right by Josh's side for every part of it.
I didn't want to share this as a boohoo/pity post or anything like that. I just wanted to be honest with everyone about what it was like getting married so young. It was hard and it was lonely at times. I always had Josh and I am so thankful for him, but I didn't always have friends outside of our marriage. In some ways that really strengthened our marriage and we grew a lot as a couple, but it was still lonely for me in the beginning.
Hard does not mean it wasn't worth it. Sometimes things that are tough are the most rewarding. Josh and I will be celebrating 8 years of marriage this summer! Sometimes when I say that it feels like such a long time and sometimes it feels like it has flown by... it depends on the day. ;)
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