This is MY Life

Wow, life has been crazy lately. I feel like this is the first chance I have had to just sit down in weeks. I am currently sitting here in my husbands shirt which I slept in, my old ratty basketball shorts, with my unwashed hair and the first cup of coffee I've made myself in weeks. Life has just been so busy lately and going so fast I feel like I'm just now processing it. Don't worry nothing traumatic has happened and nobody is dying or anything like that. I just feel like it's been a little more than I can handle.

I'm going to break this post into two parts to help me organize my thoughts and to help you keep track of the different things that are going on.

Part 1: Let Me Check My Schedule

^The only phrase I think I have used in the past month.

I recently started working two jobs; one which I absolutely love and one which I can't quite say the same. I've also been trying to finish up a class online amidst my two jobs. Let me tell you I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but working so much and trying to keep up with school is even harder than I thought. I know a lot of people do it every day and I have so much respect for them! Some people even do all that while raising kids. Kudos to you! I for one can barely handle it without kids. 

I know this is going to sound extremely dramatic, but I also feel like I have hardly seen Josh in the last four weeks. Our schedules have just been completely opposite. And the time that I did spend with him last week, I was more sick than I have been since elementary school. Fever, sore throat, headache, nausea, and an ear infection that I am still getting over. I'm not gonna lie, that was a rough one. 

I also have to add that I have been trying to get my passport for our upcoming missions trip to Nicaragua. Let me tell you, that has NOT been fun. I had no idea you had to have an appointment now to apply for your passport. I had been trying for almost a month to get an appointment because they were always booked and, most often, nobody answered the phone and you can't leave a message.  I finally got an appointment last week. But guess what? I was so sick I had to go to the doctor and the only appointment they had open was 30 minutes before my passport appointment. I took it hoping that for once I could get in on time but that was silly of me. Of course I missed my passport appointment. That was just the cherry on top of my crap sundae. I may have sat in my car and cried for ten minutes after that. But that was in part because I was very tired and didn't feel good... 

(I'm STILL trying to get a new appointment by the way...)

And with all this I have barely had any time to do ANYTHING fun let alone grocery shop (I know, "boohoo, stop whining", whatever. Can you just let me complain today?). Am I annoying you yet?

Part 2: Just Me Being Honest

I have been really sad lately. That's just the truth. I won't list out all of the reasons, but a big one is because I miss Washington more than ever. I miss campfires and going to the lake. I miss living where the only sound I can hear is birds chirping and not construction. I miss just hanging out and having sleepovers at my best friends house! I miss Territorial Days (nobody from VA is going to have any idea what that is). I miss the Clark Country fair. I miss JoJos! I miss Portland even. I miss the rain?! 

And most importantly I miss my family! I want to be able to have my mom over for dinner on Mother's Day and drive over to my grandparent's house on Easter. I want to be able to attend family picnics and hang out with my cousins. I want to grab lunch with my sisters and have my parents over to my house whenever I want. I realize that not a lot of people get to do all of that stuff and most people do live away from family. But that is how I grew up. I got to do ALL of those things. And now I'm lucky if I get to go home twice a year. 

I have a confession to make as well. I've been slightly bitter lately. I find myself being angry that I have to work two jobs while this person gets a brand new car without working or that person gets to go on vacation for the third time this year. Meanwhile I'm saving all my pennies just to try and buy a car that doesn't break down a couple times a year. And there is no reason for me to be angry about those things. That is life. That is MY life. Do you hear me? It's MINE and nobody else's. Why in the world should I be angry about that? In fact there are people worse off than me who would do anything to have the life I have.

Ok, I'm realizing now that this is A LOT of sad things in one post and I kind of sound like a downer. I just feel like I haven't had the chance to talk to anyone about how I'm doing for a few weeks. But you know what, there have been some really great things happening too that I have forgotten too quickly. So I lied, I am breaking this post into three parts...

Part 3: Time To Stop Being Sad and Be Happy Instead

Let's just make a list of all the good things happening

1. I love my first job! I am now a nanny of twins! And oh my goodness do I love them already. They are so sweet and so much fun! I have only been with them for a few weeks but I can already tell that I want to be with them for a long time. 

2. I have lost 5 pounds! Although I'm not entirely sure if it is from my being sick combined with all the stress? Or if it is because I am now not sitting around home nearly as much as I was before.

3. I am doing very well in my current class despite how busy I have been.

4. Great things are happening for Josh at work and I am so proud of him! You can talk to him about that one :)

5. One of my best friends is having a baby this week!!!! That makes me extremely happy.

6. One thing that I can't say yet! (I'm NOT pregnant so don't even let your mind go there)

7. I've been getting a lot of free coffee...

8. I got to sleep in this morning... That counts, right?